Sunday, October 12, 2008

Palin's "House-Gate", Whip his "you-know-what" and more

Check out Mudflats and Daily Kos for the latest on Sarah Palin's newest scandal "House-Gate." Just as Ted Stevens was hoist on the petard of donated home renovation work, questions have arisen about First Dude Todd Palin's "buddies" who helped him build the Palin's 3500 sq. foot house, coincidentally at the same time the $12.5 million rec center/hockey rink was being built down the road.

Never a dull moment in the McCain campaign. Today, the Associated Press is reporting that, while addressing a group of volunteers outside his campaign headquarters, "Republican John McCain vowed Sunday to "whip" Democratic rival Barack Obama's "you-know-what" when the two presidential candidates meet Wednesday in their final televised debate. "

I thought Maureen Dowd's OpEd piece in the NY Times - "Are We Rome? Tu Betchus!" - today was hysterically funny. She took A LOT of heat in the comment section, from all corners. Some said she was being way too snarky (elite ???), some disagreed with her position, while others felt she was off-base for being funny in such a serious time. Dowd was waxing nostalgic about the renaissance of Latin education. So, the second part of the piece, called "The Battle of Gall" was "loosely and creatively" translated from English to whoop-ass, funny Latin by a professor friend of MoDo's. Don't read the translation until you've tried to decipher the original, it is not nearly as funny. David M. Johnson, of Carbondale, IL provides a very funny partial translation:


Shades of Julius Caesar--“O most bloody sight!” John McCain, maverick, veteran, and Indochine prisoner of war, together with Sara Palin, the boreal barricuda, love to sneer at Barack Obama for his oratory. But at Republican rallies they attacked the African-American senator from the Land of Lincoln like true demagogues.The candidates, raving attack-dogs (with apologies to our canine readers) pretend that they are “no orator as Brutus is”, as they “stir men’s blood” and rouse the minds of the people to “a sudden flood of mutiny,” as Shakespeare wrote.

When American citizens at Republican rallies hear the name of Barack Hussein Obama, and shout out “Death!” “Terrorist-lover!” “Communist!” [surely no one in the mob would be so moderate as to yell “Socialist”, especially in French--ed.] “Bomba Obama!” “Obama is an Arab!” and “Off with his head!”, it’s time for the rabble-rousers to stop the “Smear Talk Express”, as Stephen Colbert has called it. Obama is demonized as an Islamo-Manchurian candidate--at a Florida Palin rally a citizen in a cervical collar (really? But what the hell else would collo-cerviciliaris mean?--ed.] held up a mask of Obama as the devil.Obama does not complain about this high-tech lynching. But the secret service agents are rather nervous.

Hardly anyone had heard the name “Palin” a few months ago. She arose from her tanning bed deep in the forests of Eskimo Land, and asked who this traitorous, ominous, scurrilous, dangerous lover of the 60’s, terror, and the Chicago mob was. You betcha!“The blind ambition of Obama,” runs the new story by Palin and McCain. “When it’s useful, Obama works with the terrorist William Ayers. When he’s asked about it, he lies.” McCain party boss Frank Keating calls Obama a guy from the hood and notes that as a young man he sniffed a little blow.When the First Dude, Palin’s spouse, tried to attack Trooper-Gate, the judges of the Land of Santa and the Elves castigated Governor Palin for her abuse of power in pursuit of revenge for her family.But Sara and John come to bury Obama, not to praise him. The mavericks, with the help of their ice-maiden henchwoman, Cynthia McCain, Baroness de Beer (who blames Obama for endangering her son in Iraq), brazenly distract the minds of....

The rest of this translation is provided courtesy of Ablative Absolutes:

the people from their decimated 401ks, the shrinking "General Motors" and the Great Depression 2.0. This is all from "W", George Bush the second, the colossal goofball certainly is leading through disaster to the gym.

The lady-Governor (lying next to Russia) Palin, looking to be a candidate in 2012, after much learning with Kissinger and much parody from Saturday Night Live and Tina Fey, will insult Obama arrogantly, in the manner of shooting wolves from the air, North of Thrace.

In Wilmington, Ohio, McCain's mean girl defended herself being a warrior-politician-lady, "O Jupiter, some people say that this is negative. No. It is not negative, but the highest truth." Talk about lipstick on a pig! Just as Lee Atwater about George Bush the First's assault to Dukakis: "its not a negative, but a comparison."

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