This is like Tim Wise's White Privilege, only in a more humorous vein...
* If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents (who are fromKansas), you're 'exotic, different.' - Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, a quintessential American story.
* If your name is Barack you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim. - Name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.
* Graduate from Harvard Law School (magna cum laude) and you are unstable. - Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating with a degree in"communications", you're well grounded.
* If you spend 3 years as a brilliant community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 2 years in theUnited States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment andPublic Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience. - If your total resume is: local weather girl, 4 years on the citycouncil and 6 years as the mayor of a town with fewer than 7,000 people,20 months as the governor of a state with only 690,000 people, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.
* If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian. - If you cheated on your first wife with a rich heiress, and left your disfigured wife and married the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.
* If you teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including theproper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society. - If , while governor, you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with noother option in sex education in your state's school system while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, you're very responsible.
* If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's. - If your husband is nicknamed 'First Dude', with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.
OK, much clearer now